Warning: Serious venting ahead!
Well I have officially been back to work for a whole week now and I can honestly say this has been one of the hardest, most stressful weeks of my life. When I was pregnant, I wasn't nervous at all about having a baby and taking care of him. When we brought Walker home, we jumped right in and being parents was second nature for us. One thing I hadn't prepared myself for was being a working mom. It has definitely been a hard adjustment for all three members of the Shamblin family.
So here's the details...
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| This sweet face is about the only thing getting me through this crazy week! |
Every night I spend almost an hour getting all the bottles, pump parts, and diaper bag goodies ready for the next day. I also try to have everything ready for myself too. When I'm at work I feel like I'm rushing around like a crazy person during my planning and lunch trying to pump. I have found that teaching is a very unfriendly job for pumping! My time is so limited when I am at school, pumping is seriously stressing me out. To top it off, when I do pump I'm just not getting enough milk to keep up with Walker's needs (Probably because I don't have enough time to pump enough! Ugh!). I started fenugreek last night so I'm hoping this will help my supply. So as if leaving my sweet baby wasn't enough, I'm also dealing with this stress while I'm away.
Walker loves both of his babysitters. He gives them both huge smiles all day long. He wasn't napping great there last week but he seems to be doing better for my mom this week. However, our evenings at home are now a mess. Because of the bottles at the babysitters' houses Walker is fighting nursing big time. Last night I spent two hours trying to get him to nurse and he screamed his head off. I gave him a bottle of frozen bm and he chugged it like a champ. :( Unfortunately my mom informed me that boys tend to be lazier babies than girls so he's not wanting to work at nursing. Oh did I mention that my little champion sleeper has been all out of whack! Walker was sleeping perfectly and has been since he was six weeks old. For whatever reason he's been waking up at crazy hours all night long. The past few nights he wouldn't go back to sleep without nursing. Also on Sunday night he woke up at 3:30am. I fed him and he wouldn't go back to sleep so we ended up snuggling on the couch until it was time for me to start getting ready for work. I honestly think maybe we've hit the three month growth spurt at the same time as my return to work making it an even more difficult experience.
I know my going back to work has been hard on Blake too. In the mornings he's been great helping me get everything out to the car and making sure I have everything I need. But he's been getting started a little later in the mornings, so it's making a long day for him too.
Being a working mom is much more difficult than I was prepared for, but coming home to my sweet baby boy's smiles definitely makes it better. I'm going to try the Fenugreek as a last ditch effort. If it doesn't help in the pumping department, we're going to have to switch to formula or at least supplement. I know it's not the end of the world but I do feel a little sad about it. But I also know that continuing to breastfeed won't be worth it if it's stressing Walker and I both out. Our time together is a little more limited now and I definitely don't want that precious time to be spent stressed out. Through all of the craziness and tears I keep reminding myself that I am so blessed and for that I am thankful!
6 comments:
Oh girl, I'm so sorry it's been a rough week!
Hopefully Walker will be back to his normal self soon and maybe that will help with all the stress - I'm sure at least the extra sleep might help :)
I'm sorry to hear about the whole pumping fiasco too. It's not the end of the world if you have to switch or supplement, but I know how special that time is (well not pumping haha, but BF in general) and I wouldn't be happy about stopping unless I felt ready to. I hope the Fenugreek helps! Also stress causes your supply to go down, but I know the first thing I feel when my supply seems low is STRESS!
I hope the rest of the week goes fast so you can enjoy the weekend!
Sorry it's been such a rough week. I'm not looking forward to going back to work in a few weeks myself. I hope that the Fenugreek helps! I found that water was the key to my milk (drink lots) but I haven't had to pump every day yet so we'll see what happens.
Hope the rest of your week gets better!
The key to producing more milk is hydration. You must drink LOTS of water and I promise it will come!! Good Luck!!
I'm so sorry it's been such a rough week for you. I know how hard it is to get Emerson and myself out the door to run errands so I can't imagine trying to do it to go to work every day. It sounds like you're getting the hang of it though. I agree that teaching just isn't a pumping friendly profession. There's barely enough time to go to the bathroom much less pump as often as you need to. Don't be too hard on yourself about supplementing. It's just not worth the stress, you know? And any little bit of breastmilk that you do give him is still good for him! You'll be in my prayers this week!
Praying for you right now! Reading your post broke my heart!!! But it will get better and know that you can go all things with HIS strength! You will continue to be in my prayers!
I exclusively pumped for our twins for 7 months all while working 40 hours a week. A little suggestion? Try a hands free bra (http://www.simplewishes.com/). Perhaps you could use this little jewel and grade papers at the same time? Also, the fenugreek worked a little for us and I sometimes drank a tea called Mother's Milk. Another note? I had 2 sets of pump parts, used the Medela Quick Clean wipes, as well as the micro-steam bags. Also, the Playtex drop-in bottles cut down a TON of time washing, cleaning, and so on. You can also try eating oatmeal to increase production.
We actually go to church together (just different services!) so I hope you don't mind me commenting or giving a few tips. Believe me, I feel your pain. Nursing directly didn't work so great for us PLUS our girls were preemies so we had to chart how much milk they drank down to the mL so we needed to SEE what they took in.
Hope Walker
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